Whether it’s a romantic relationship or business deal, lying hurts all involved.
Although you cannot run a lie detector test in everyday life, some signs may help you determine whether someone is deceiving you. The purpose of this article is not to make you doubt everyone or feel paranoid, rather it is just an effort to help you be more equipped in understanding the signs of a liar.
If you ever feel that the cost of trusting a person might take a considerable emotional or financial toll on you, you may consider taking the help of a professional counselor to help you make better decisions.
Should you always be skeptical of everyone you meet?
No person can tell with 100 percent certainty whether someone is lying. Meeting liars and getting cheated on are one of those things in life that you unfortunately may have to go through and learn.
Although being aware of the truth in matters that concern you is important, being always doubtful is not going to help. Furthermore, there are always exceptions. Some people may appear that they are lying because of certain aspects of their personality although they are speaking the truth and vice versa.
You cannot keep being suspicious or burdening your mind with the responsibility of finding out the truth. All you can do is beware of the subtle clues, protect yourself, and your interests and let go of what won't harm even if it isn’t the truth.
You may always discuss with people you trust when faced with a difficult situation. Talking to a qualified counselor will help, especially in matters related to personal relationships.
10 tips to catch someone lying
Ten tips to catch someone lying include:
- Lack of eye contact: Eyes speak volumes, and liars are quite aware of it. Studies report that a person tends to look away while they lie. People who are more pro at lying, however, may say it while looking straight into your eyes. However, some people who are inherently shy or introverted may look sideways or away from the one they are talking to even when they are saying the truth.
- Inconsistent information: One of the pitfalls of lying is that the liar has to remember everything they said. Because it's not facts but a made-up story, it is highly likely that they will give contradictory or inconsistent information when you ask them repeated questions.
- Hand gestures: Observe a person’s hands as they talk. A person tends to place their hands over their eyes, forehead, or mouth while lying. They may repeatedly wriggle their fingers or have more animated hand movements while lying.
- Speaking too little or too much: Liars are often conscious about what they are revealing while talking. They may answer in just one or two words or reveal information that may not completely answer your question. They may at times talk a lot so that they can weave a more believable story. They may appear too talkative or more descriptive than expected.
- Being fidgety: A person may look too fidgety while lying. They may tap their feet, move their knees, or play with objects such as paperweight. They may do this to keep control over their nerves or distract your attention.
- Reaction to unexpected questions: Unexpected questions can throw people off-guard and make them vulnerable to spill the beans. Start by asking general questions such as about the weather or food and then put forth the questions you wish to ask. You may try to ask for more details about a topic and notice how the person responds. Observe for those fleeting “micro-expressions” or expressions that last for a very short time. Liars may appear flushed, uncomfortable, or held back for a brief while before they compose themselves.
- Incoherent expressions: Liars tend to fake their expressions as well. These fake expressions may look a bit disconnected or confusing. For example, they may give a big smile that turns into a quick frown or an expression of feeling uncomfortable. The fake smile may at times last much longer than what would normally be expected. There may be moments of biting lips or wiping a sweaty forehead while the person fakes to be at ease.
- Changes in voice tone: Observe the voice tone. If you have had conversations with the person previously, you may take that as a baseline and compare how firm or confident their voice is. People tend to have a shaky or softer than usual voice.
- Too much information: Liars tend to give too many unnecessary “facts” than needed. For example, if you ask them why they were late, they may tell you a detailed story such as “I was so happy today because I planned to meet you and had my favorite breakfast at 8 in the morning. Although I left home at 8:30, there was too much traffic on the way. Then my car broke at about 9 and I had to get it repaired which took an hour and a half….” They give your brain a lot to process, which gives them a higher probability of not being caught.
- Go with your gut: Your gut instincts often alert you. If you feel something is not right or someone is not being genuine, give this thought some consideration. Take your time, sleep over it. Understanding your gut feeling can help you make better decisions most of the time.
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