Suicide (cont.)
How can people cope with suicidal thoughts?
Suggestions for helping people survive suicidal thinking include engaging the
help of a doctor or other health professional, a spiritual advisor, or by
immediately going to the closest emergency room or mental-health crisis center.
In order to prevent acting on thoughts of self-harm, it is often suggested that
individuals who have experienced suicidal thinking keep a written or mental list
of people to call in the event that suicidal thoughts come back. Other
strategies include having someone hold all medications to prevent overdose,
removing knives, guns and other weapons from the home, scheduling stress-relieving activities every day, getting together with others to prevent
isolation, writing down feelings, including positive ones, and avoiding the use
of alcohol or other drugs.
How can people cope with the suicide of a loved one?
Grief that is associated with the suicide of a loved one presents intense and
unique challenges. In addition to the already significant pain endured by anyone
that loses a loved one, suicide survivors may feel guilty about having not been
able to prevent their loved one from killing themselves and the myriad of
conflicting emotions already discussed. Friends and family may be more likely to
experience regret about whatever conflicts or other problems they had in their
relationship with the deceased, and they may even feel guilty about living while their
loved one is not. Therefore, individuals who lose a loved one from suicide are
more at risk for becoming preoccupied with the reason for the suicide while
wanting to deny or hide the cause of death, wondering if they could have
prevented it, feeling blamed for the problems that preceded the suicide, feeling
rejected by their loved one and stigmatized by others.
Some self-help techniques for coping with the suicide of a loved one include
avoiding isolation by staying involved with others, sharing the experience by
joining a support group or keeping a journal, thinking of ways to handle it when
other life experiences trigger painful memories about the loss, understanding
that getting better involves feeling better some days and worse on other days,
resisting pressure to get over the loss, and the suicide survivor's doing what
is right for them in their efforts to recover. Generally, coping tips for grieving a death through suicide are nearly as
different and numerous as there are bereaved individuals. The bereaved
individual's caring for him- or herself through continuing nutritious and
regular eating habits and getting extra rest can help strengthen their ability
to endure this very difficult event.
Quite valuable tips for journaling as an effective way of managing
bereavement rather than just stirring up painful feelings are provided by the
Center for Journal Therapy. While encouraging those who choose to write a
journal to apply no strict rules to the process, some of the ideas encouraged
include limiting the time journaling to 15 minutes per day or less to decrease
the likelihood of worsening grief, writing how one imagines his or her life will
be a year from the date of the suicide, and clearly identifying feelings to
allow for easier tracking of the individual's grief process.
To help children and adolescents cope emotionally with the suicide of a
friend or family member, it is important to ensure they receive consistent
caretaking and frequent interaction with supportive adults. All children and
teens can benefit from being reassured they did not cause their loved one to
kill themselves, going a long way toward lessening the
developmentally appropriate tendency children and adolescents have for blaming
themselves and any angry feelings they may have harbored against their lost
loved one for the suicide. For school-aged and older children, appropriate
participation in school, social, and extracurricular activities is necessary to
a successful resolution of grief. For adolescents, maintaining positive
relationships with peers becomes important in helping teens figure out how to
deal with a loved one's taking their own life. Depending on the
adolescent, they even may find interactions with peers and family more helpful
than formal sources of support like their school counselor.
Next: Where can people get help? »
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