Teen Weight Loss Secrets (cont.)

At her STAR (Service for At-Risk Teens) Clinic, she finds that overweight kids tend to have, or are at risk for, depression, poor self-image, and social isolation. They are also perceived as lazy and less attractive than normal-weight teens.

Teen Weight Loss Woes

For Fletcher, her desire to help her overweight son became a passion for finding solutions to help overweight teens. She interviewed 104 kids to learn what life was like when they were overweight, and what helped them lose the weight and keep it off. The results were published in Weight Loss Confidential: How Teens Lose Weight and Keep it Off and What They Wish Parents Knew.

"Their stories broke my heart. Being overweight affected their popularity, self-esteem, ability to get dates -- everything that is important to a teenager," says Fletcher, who also wrote the Thin for Life series on weight control in adults.

One of the teenage girls in the book described boys groping her as if it were acceptable because she was overweight.

"The pain and suffering of being an overweight teen was what finally led most of these teens to embrace serious weight loss," says Fletcher.

How Parents Can Help Teens With Weight Loss

Teens cannot succeed at weight loss alone. They need supportive parents who create healthy home environments -- and who serve as good role models. When parents succeed at losing weight, their children are more likely to succeed as well. But when a teen has overweight parents, it's often very difficult for that teen to lose weight.

"The hardest part about helping kids lose weight is resistant parents who don't want to change their own behavior," says Botelle.

Experts agree that it's a bad idea for parents to nag or say things like, 'Haven't you had enough?'" to their overweight teens. Instead, let your children know you are there for them and willing to help -- then back off and let them decide when they're ready.

"Parents need to give their kids some space without feeling like they are giving up on them," says Gilbert. "When parents are overbearing, their suggestions backfire, and the teen misses out on the important motivation that comes from making decisions for yourself."

Experts advise talking to them about the pros and cons of being overweight. But use examples they can relate to. For example, talk about the impact their excess weight will have in gym class, not on their health.

"They could care less about health or what is going to happen in 10 years," says Botelle. "They live in the present."

Teens should also be involved in the process, Fletcher says.

"Ask them to help decide which snacks and foods should be on the grocery list and which ones should we eliminate for the entire family, not just the overweight teen," says Fletcher.