Building Self-Esteem: A Self-Help Guide
Things You Can Do Right Away-Every
Day-to Raise Your Self-Esteem
Pay attention to your own needs and wants. Listen to what your body, your mind, and your heart are telling
you. For instance, if your body is telling you that you have been sitting down
too long, stand up and stretch. If your heart is longing to spend more time with
a special friend, do it. If your mind is telling you to clean up your basement,
listen to your favorite music, or stop thinking bad thoughts about yourself, take those
Take very good care of yourself. As you were growing up you may not have
learned how to take good care of yourself. In fact, much of your attention may
have been on taking care of others, on just getting by, or on "behaving well."
Begin today to take good care of yourself. Treat yourself as a wonderful parent
would treat a small child or as one very best friend might treat another. If you
work at taking good care of yourself, you will find that you feel better about
yourself. Here are some ways to take good care of yourself-
- Eat healthy foods and avoid junk foods (foods containing a lot of sugar, salt, or fat). A healthy daily diet is usually:
five or six servings of vegetables and fruit
six servings of whole grain
foods like bread, pasta, cereal, and rice
two servings of protein foods like beef, chicken, fish,
cheese, cottage cheese, or yogurt
- Exercise. Moving your
body helps you to feel better and improves your self-esteem. Arrange a time
every day or as often as possible when you can get some exercise, preferably
outdoors. You can do many different things. Taking a walk is the most common.
You could run, ride a bicycle, play a sport, climb up and down stairs several
times, put on a tape, or play the radio and dance to the music-anything that
feels good to you. If you have a health problem that may restrict your ability
to exercise, check with your doctor before beginning or changing your exercise habits.
- Do personal hygiene tasks that make you feel better
about yourself-things like taking a regular shower or bath, washing and
styling your hair, trimming your nails, brushing and flossing your teeth.
- Have a physical examination every year to make sure
you are in good health.
- Plan fun activities for yourself.
Learn new things every day.
- Take time to do things you enjoy. You may be so busy, or feel so badly about yourself, that you spend
little or no time doing things you enjoy--things like playing a musical
instrument, doing a craft project, flying a kite, or going fishing. Make a
list of things you enjoy doing. Then do something from that list every day.
Add to the list anything new that you discover you enjoy doing.
- Get something done that you have been putting off. Clean out that drawer. Wash that window. Write that
letter. Pay that bill.
- Do things that make use of your own special talents and abilities. For instance, if you are good with
your hands, then make things for yourself, family, and friends. If you like
animals, consider having a pet or at least playing with friends' pets.
- Dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself. If you have little money to spend on new
clothes, check out thrift stores in your area.
- Give yourself rewards-you
are a great person. Listen to a CD or tape.
- Spend time with people
who make you feel good about yourself-people who treat you well. Avoid people
who treat you badly.
- Make your living space a place that honors the person you are. Whether you live in a single room, a
small apartment, or a large home, make that space comfortable and attractive
for you. If you share your living space with others, have some space that is
just for you--a place where you can keep your things and know that they will
not be disturbed and that you can decorate any way you choose.
- Display items that you find attractive or that remind you of your achievements or of special times or
people in your life. If cost is a factor, use your creativity to think of
inexpensive or free ways that you can add to the comfort and enjoyment of your
- Make your meals a special time. Turn off the television, radio, and stereo. Set the table, even if
you are eating alone. Light a candle or put some flowers or an attractive
object in the center of the table. Arrange your food in an attractive way on
your plate. If you eat with others, encourage discussion of pleasant topics.
Avoid discussing difficult issues at meals.
- Take advantage of opportunities to learn something new or improve your
skills. Take a
class or go to a seminar. Many adult education programs are free or very
inexpensive. For those that are more costly, ask about a possible scholarship
or fee reduction.
- Begin doing those things that you know will make you feel better about
yourself-like going on a diet,
beginning an exercise program or keeping your living space clean.
- Do something nice for another person. Smile at someone who looks sad. Say a few kind words to the
check-out cashier. Help your spouse with an unpleasant chore. Take a meal to a
friend who is sick. Send a card to an acquaintance. Volunteer for a worthy
- Make it a point to treat yourself well every day. Before you go to bed each
night, write about how you treated yourself well during the day.