Sex Matters®: Start Me Up
Q: My husband and I have a discrepancy in desire. How do we make it match?
A: Many people wait a long time before they try to do anything about sexual-frequency discrepancies -- sometimes 15 or more years.
When this happens, couples settle into a pattern-they get used to turning in each night and staying on their own sides of the bed. How do you overcome this pattern? Here are some ideas:
If that's the problem, then take a look at how the sex you do have gets started. Is it always predictable? Does the same person always initiate it?
This is particularly true if one person does most of the initiating.
For women, the solution to a low sex drive is more complex. While a woman's sex hormones may be to blame, she can have high, normal, or low free testosterone levels-which do not necessarily reflect the nature of her sex drive.
Some women have tried testosterone therapy, which does work for many but not all. Ask your doctor about options, including hormonal treatments that may increase your drive, medications such as pills or topical gels that increase blood flow to the genitals, or devices that help enhance libido.
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Last Editorial Review: 12/19/2005