The Search For Ms. Right with Peter Bartula
WebMD Live Events Transcript
'The Complete Male Handbook' author Peter Bartula joined us for a talk about sex, dating, and other trivial stuff.
The opinions expressed herein are the guest's alone. If you have questions about your health, you should consult your personal physician. This event is meant for informational purposes only.
With a plethora of dating options available to the average man, it's not always so easy to find Ms. Right when trolling the net, hanging out in bars, and going on blind dates with friends of friends.
Part humor and part practical handbook, The Complete Male Handbook, attempts to explain the mysteries of the romantic world... From the male perspective. Topics run the gamut of modern American problems, from first dates to first kisses, from dating to introducing your girl to your friends.
"... Just remember," says Peter Bartula in the introduction to his book, "the right woman could be a beer away next Friday night, so take a tip from someone who's been there and keep plugging away."
Moderator Hello everyone and welcome! Tonight's expert is Peter Bartula, author of "The Complete Male Handbook," a fun and informative guidebook to "Sex, Dating, and Other Trivial Stuff." Feel free to ask your questions at any time by typing /ask followed by your query. Thank you very much for joining us today
Peter Bartula It's a pleasure to be here.
Moderator Since I'm the moderator, it's traditional that I snag the first question...
Peter Bartula I was a single guy trudging through the bar scene and I had a female friend who I talked about my trials and tribulations with dating and she suggested it - the rest is history!
smersh_WebMD Since you're the expert, I'll ask you -- do you think there's such a thing as 'ms. right'?
Peter Bartula Absolutely - you just have to find her. No one is perfect, but we can all get close, you have to be willing to settle down - but not be willing to settle!
Moderator Where should one begin The Hunt?
Peter Bartula There are a variety of places - the obvious - friends, work, bar scene, singles ads... but try some different things - volunteer work, clubs, etc. Don't take Aunt Millie's hairdresser's niece on a blind date though - nothing but trouble.
Moderator If you don't mind me asking, how did you and your wife meet?
Peter Bartula We met in a bar, I was sanding the hard wood floor at my cottage, bathed with lemon fresh Joy in the lake, went to the local bar (cocky attitude in tow) said I'm going to pick-up the best looking girl in the bar, and I did - I definitely got lucky!
smersh_WebMD was it love at first site? I mean... did you KNOW?
Peter Bartula No, actually I just thought she was going to be a "summer fling"... but as we got to know each other it evolved!
Love isn't always about "infatuation" I feel that the friendship is more important (in keeping with the macho attitude) - and sex isn't a bad thing either. Had to say that or they would have revoked my Macho Club Card.
Moderator Let's talk for a moment about the art of picking up women -- and it is an art. Do the classic one liners really work, or do you suggest a more nuanced approach?
Peter Bartula I'd skip the corn-ball lines, although one friend did start a relationship by lifting a girl off the floor, setting her back down and said - "Now I can say that I've picked up the best looking girl in the bar - and it worked. That is the exception to the rule.
Girls to like funny men, however, I used one that went - "I'm sorry, you aren't meeting your minimum enthusiasm quota. You are either going to have to look happier or leave the bar." A bit of corn, but it worked. Just be your self and don't be afraid to show that you are more fun than the average bar flunkie!
mold28_WebMD What is your best line?
Moderator My favorite is, "Are your legs tired? 'Cuz you've been running through my mind all day!" (can't say that I've ever actually tried it in a combat situation, though...
Peter Bartula That was it, but the worst I've succeeded with was - I want to take you to breakfast, should I call you or nudge you! It helped that I already had the deal 3/4's closed when I said it, though.
mold28_WebMD What about ...Do you have a quarter? My mother told my call her when I met the woman of my dreams. Does this really work?
Peter Bartula It all depends on your delivery, appearance and the woman - everyone is different. In my experiences, again, the cornier lines are less likely to work unless you are Mel Gibson.
mold28_WebMD So, I'm at a loss. What are women really looking for?
Peter Bartula Funny, nice but not slobbering on their shoes to serve their needs, and responsible. Younger women (under 25) tend to like "bad boys" more, but that is usually because they have some maturing do to as well. The key as much as it may sound cliche, is to be yourself - and have fun, you will have failures, but as the barber says - "Next!"