Parenting: Positive Parenting with John Gray (cont.)

Moderator: What is your advice for dealing with a child who appears to have violent tendencies?

Dr. Gray: In my book, I talk about four temperaments. Children with violent temperaments tend to temperament one. They need to be the center of attention, and define themselves by the results they create in life, and need lots of acknowledgement and appreciation. They need roles and responsibilities, and opportunities to make a difference, and that difference to be recognized. They need lots of forgiveness for their mistakes, without punishment. Children who are violent are often punished a lot. The parents will say that it's because they do such terrible things, and I will say that's why they continue to do such terrible things. Parents are never the cause, but they perpetuate the problem. An active child tends to act without thinking or compassion until their heart is nurtured and developed. Their sensitivity to others increases when they feel secure, acknowledged and appreciated. This child needs to have a lot more supervision than other types of children. They need someone, and to know that someone knows what they're doing and where they are. When they make mistakes, they need to be immediately forgiven with new opportunity to achieve and accomplish. More details are in my book.

Moderator: How long does it take to undo old skill sets and apply these new ones suggested in your book?

Dr. Gray: Everybody changes at different rates; I do know that we live in a time of accelerated change. So much has happened so quickly, but with the right change of skills and tools, change can happen miraculously fast. Our learning capacity to create change in ourselves and others.

Moderator: Dr. Gray, thank you for joining us today. WebMD members, please join us every Tuesday at 1 pm Eastern Time here in the Family Wellness Auditorium for our live weekly event.

The opinions given by Dr. Gray are his and his alone. If you have specific questions or are concerned about your health, please consult your personal physician. This event is for informational purposes only.

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