Sexual Fitness for Men: The Hardness Factor (cont.)

MODERATOR:
What are some of those changes?

LAMM:
First thing is reduce your portions -- start having less to eat. Let's reduce the fat in your diet. When you eat fat, what you're basically doing is stunning your blood vessels. If you stun the blood vessels, they can't open and close and they can't be as elastic as they would be under normal circumstances. If you draw blood on somebody who has had a big meal, the blood is milky, it's opaque. That's due to the triglycerides that are circulating. You want to try to reduce the total amount of fat and sugar in the diet.

You want to start to use some of the antioxidants, the Pycnogenol, the arginine, the omega-3s. And niacin is a fantastic substance that raises your good cholesterol and lowers your bad cholesterol.

Have some green tea, probably the healthiest drink I know of. Start doing some of the exercises that we talked about, the cobra, the stuff that starts just exciting your muscles a little bit.

I think that with a little bit of the supplements, with a reduction in your calorie intake, with a better selection of foods, certainly if you're smoking, what an opportunity to stop because that's going to make the greatest impact. Also get some sleep -- sleep is as necessary as food and water but men just don't think that they need it. If you don't sleep, you're not going to perform or function cognitively or sexually in my opinion.

That's an example of what you can quickly do over a four- or five-day period.

MODERATOR:
What can a woman do to help her husband or her partner? What can anyone do to help their partner get more into this program and get more out of this program?

LAMM:
I think that women really are the victors in this gender battle and women are clearly the caretakers and the leading force around health care and around a lot of other things. I really think that men are becoming irrelevant in our society and unless they can respond to a book of this nature, we can only prove that they are irrelevant. If you can't get them motivated to change with reference to this subject, men really have a bad problem.

I think that women can basically appreciate that sexuality and an erection is a very, very important aspect of a man's being. She has to really understand that very, very clearly. And, she must appreciate that there is a link between the man's health and the quality of his erection. That can be a motivating force when the woman says, "Look, I have noticed that there is kind of a change in either your interest in sex or in the actual hardness of your penis and I'm concerned about your health. I read Dr. Lamm's book and I think this can be fixed. Sex is as important for me as it is for you, so I'd like to make an appointment with the doctor for you and I'd like you to read the book. I'd like you to start to make some changes."

I think that a woman can really direct the man. We knew in the long run that the success of this book would be based on whether we can get enough young women to buy this book, to read this book, and to make changes in their men. We also knew that it would be very important for young men to read this book as well, but women are critical in this venture to get men to change. I think that they are. Women do kind of find the book interesting because you want to know your enemy, you want to know your enemy and you want to know things about erections, just as men want to know about female hot spots. I think this is very important for women.

MEMBER QUESTION:
My husband has had difficulty getting an erection only when having sex with me. He blames it on noises, his head won't get in the game or my lack of interest. Yet he masturbates every morning and has no problem doing himself. Is this a symptom of erectile dysfunction or is it personal? We're so frustrated we hardly try anymore so we won't hurt each other's feelings.

"It appears as though the men who have more regular sex seem to be healthier and seem to live longer."

LAMM:
This is a very sad email to me because this is what you see over and over again, in which any kind of interference in a normal sexual relationship between two partners results in an estrangement and a distancing and anger. This is a condition that affects more than one person, as you can see, and unless this young lady can effect a change in her relationship and a better understanding of sexuality, I would be skeptical whether this relationship will last. My suggestions are the following:

  • I would suggest that the man stop masturbating on a daily basis because, not that masturbation is in itself harmful, but it's harmful for this relationship because it diminishes the man's drive and interest in having sex with his partner. It's probably a statement of anger or resentment or some underlying psychological issue.
  • I think that the main problem is a relationship problem. They are clearly not communicating effectively. Silence, in this particular case, or avoidance, is not going to solve this problem; it's going to make this problem a lot worse, in my opinion. I would suggest that they go for couples' therapy, go to their family doctor.
  • She can go to her gynecologist to find out if there are any issues affecting her. We didn't talk about the whole gamut of female sexual problems that I would be privileged to speak about at a future opportunity.

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