Orgasms: Becoming a Multi-Orgasmic Woman (cont.)
There are also alternatives to medications. There are high blood pressure medications that do not have sexual side effects, such as ACE inhibitors, or angiotensin receptor blockers.
For some women, oral contraceptives or the birth control patch decrease sexual desire, but this is not the case for all women, by any means. Using a lower-dose birth control pill will help with the side effect and certainly other birth control options can help with libido, though some of these are not as effective as the birth control or patch.
I find for women who have finished having children and who are in a monogamous relationship, the IUD is a good long-term option that does not cause hormonal side effect. Other options include condoms, the diaphragm or the cervical cap.
Other issues are fear due to previous sexual trauma. I am happy to say that it is absolutely possible for women who have experienced rape, incest or other sexual trauma to fully recover and have an active sexual life. This requires that she be willing to either do therapy or close work with someone she loves to deal with all the difficult feelings that arise. It is also the case, in my experience, that women who have experienced previous painful sexual experiences, or even genital trauma within the medical establishment, are more likely to have pain in the genital area during sex and other times, as well. The Daoist philosophy that I incorporate into The Multi-Orgasmic Woman teaches that experiences such as these actually live in the tissue as a block of the flow of energy, or chi. By doing the Daoist exercises I teach in the book, women can identify these areas of blocked energy and help heal them and keep the energy flowing.
By far the most common block that women have to full sexual pleasure from an emotional standpoint, is simply being too busy and exhausted to have time for desire and sex. Our overall level of energy and wellness dramatically influences our ability to feel sexual. It is vital that women take care of themselves and feed their own inner source of energy, or chi, by getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising when possible, and generally taking time to have a good time. Most women have better sexual experiences on vacation because they're doing things that are fun for them, rather than simply taking care of everyone else in their lives. When we spend most of our time taking care of other people and other details, we give out our vital energy, or chi, to the world. If we don't then feed ourselves, so to speak, with experiences that give us pleasure, whether or not they're sexual, and with rest and good nutrition, it means our overall energy and our sexual energy are low. So one of the most important things women can do is to take even a brief amount of time, even 10 minutes, in the morning, to focus on what she wants to happen in her day and do some deep breathing and relaxation so that she can have a life that reflects her passion and not a life that steals her passion.
The experience of orgasm is different for every woman. Many women will have an orgasmic experience that is not like one mountain peak, but more like a continual unfolding of pleasure, which looks more like a landscape. That is, instead of one peak of pleasure, there might be a plateau of pleasure in undulating waves or small hills of pleasure among other peaks.
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