Parent's Guide: Kids and Friendship (cont.)
What will work is a few little talks about what are good friends. For instance, talking about your friends. Real friends are loyal, they stick up for one another, they don't back stab and you can count on them. You may want to rent and watch the movie Mean Girls with your daughter and help her see your healthy relationships with your friends. Talk about why they are good friends. And finally, try to help her find one friend who is a true friend outside the clique. It may be someone at a different school or down the street. But once she experiences true friendship, she'll start to get the picture.
It helps to be a little sneakier, not as pushy, and don't let them know this is what you're trying to do. Remember, older kids choose friends with similar values and interests. And you can help them find those friends by pushing them in that direction; gently pushing.
Second, make new friends. There's a chapter in Nobody Likes Me that will give you almost 30 new ideas, but here's a few:
It takes time. It can be painful, but you can make a big difference in helping your child make new friends.
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