Feature Archive

A Breast Cancer Survivor's Grief: Losing Your Doctor

Doctors aren't supposed to die before their patients. And when it happened to this breast cancer survivor, she felt scared and bereft.

By Gina Shaw
WebMD Feature

Reviewed By Charlotte Grayson

I never expected to outlive my breast cancer surgeon. But almost a year to the day after we first met, Dr. Jeanne Petrek died in the most random, ironic of accidents, hit by an ambulance as she crossed a busy New York street on her way to work at the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center.

When I first met Dr. Petrek in April of 2004, my life had gone from that of a happy, 36-year-old newlywed to a terrified breast cancer patient in less than a week. The previous month, my husband and I had been talking about starting a family; now, we wondered if I'd live to see my 40th birthday.

All our news had gone from bad to worse -- until we met Dr. Petrek. Despite her international reputation -- she was a leading researcher and the director of the breast surgery program at Memorial Sloan-Kettering in New York -- she made us feel as if I were her only patient. As she outlined a plan of presurgical chemotherapy, followed by a lumpectomy and radiation, we felt ourselves absorbing her calm confidence that I could beat this.

Over the next year, I grew to recognize Dr. Petrek's cell phone number on my caller ID, as she returned calls well into the evening when I was worried about an MRI result or upcoming surgery. She rejoiced with me when the chemotherapy wiped out the tumor, calling the results "remarkable." And just a month ago, she happily signed the health form required for us to begin an adoption, writing in the margin, "She will make a WONDERFUL mother!!!"