Feature Archive

Looking for Love:
Understanding what you need


By Colette Bouchez
WebMD Feature

Reviewed By Charlotte Grayson, MD

Are you looking for love but finding disappointment? You may be asking for too much too soon. Five experts shed some light on what to expect from romance.


Part 1: Understanding What You Need
Part 2: Setting Good Expectations


In the pilot for the ABC television show Desperate Housewives, character Gabrielle Solis (she's the beautiful ex-model with the gorgeous rich husband, big house, and bottomless bank account) sets the tone for the series with this simple but poignant statement about her marriage:

"I have everything I wanted -- but I wanted all the wrong things."

More than just a catchy phrase, you don't have to be an unhappy (or desperate) housewife to get what she means. Indeed, when it comes to choosing a life partner, experts say too many of us remain clueless about what we really want and need -- one reason so few of us seem to find it!

"We go round and round, and we date and we date some more and we think, yes! We have finally found the secret to landing that perfect mate. And still the divorce rate goes higher and higher," says psychologist Gilda Carle, PhD, associate professor at Mercy College and author of Don't Bet on the Prince -- How to Have the Man You Want by Betting on Yourself. Clearly, says Carle, something is going wrong.