"Do
You Mind If I Come In Too?"
Medical Author" William
C. Shiel Jr., MD, FACP, FACR
I am an arthritis specialist,
but what I am writing about here applies to all specialties of medicine.
It is not infrequent that a
family member of a patient that I am seeing in consultation will ask me;
"Doctor, do you mind if I come in too?"
First, let me make one thing
perfectly clear - there are only very rare exceptions when it would be
inappropriate for a family member to be in the room with the patient. Second, it
is perfectly acceptable to ask this question if you are a family member that has
an interest in the patient's medical situation. Third, if the patient or the
doctor feel that there are particular reasons to exclude you from the
consultation room, they will tell you.
So, go ahead and ask. Here's
why. The sincere concern and understanding of a family member is extremely
important to the patient and the doctor. This is particularly true for many of
the chronic arthritis-related conditions.
Because many of these
conditions can be complex medically, may require serious medicines that can have
side effects and need monitoring testing, and because the conditions can affect
the day-to-day functioning of the patient in the family environment, doctors
will generally welcome the presence of the family member. By being present when
the condition is explained, the required tests are described, and the treatment
options and side effects are reviewed, the family member can assist the patient
in understanding the game plan while they are permitted their own optimal
understanding of the situation that will be confronting the family.
Furthermore, the presence of
the family member during the doctor's visit can serve to relieve the
patient's burden of describing the situation to the family at a later time.
Additionally, nothing is "lost in the translation."
Finally, even if you, as the
family member, are excluded at that particular visit, you still will have made a
positive impact. If you respect the feelings of those involved, you will have
expressed your concern to two people who care - the patient and the doctor.
So, to family members I say:
"Ask your patient-family member and doctor for their consent to attend their
doctor's appointment." It may be the best thing you could do for the one
that is ill.
Last Editorial Review: 9/4/2009
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