In One Year, Out the Other
This year, try giving resolutions a rest and just do your best.
Reviewed By Louise Chang, MD
Here's a New Year's resolution anyone can keep: Resolve not to make any more New Year's resolutions.
Now, wasn't that easy?
If you're trying to pay down your credit cards, quit smoking, get a new job, find a mate, or shed some excess poundage, abandoning New Year's resolutions won't get you off the hook.
But by setting more realistic goals for yourself and not limiting yourself to a once-a-year, do-or-die, all-out assault on that Everest of debt, those flabby thighs, or the hideous wallpaper you keep meaning to replace, you may find that the finish line isn't so far away after all.
Or as the Rolling Stones put it, "you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find you get what you need."
Popular New Year's Resolutions
According to USA.gov, the nation's official Web portal, Americans commonly resolve every January to:
The Web site doesn't cite the sources for these popular New Year's resolutions, nor do they offer statistics on how often they are broken. But as the poet Robert Burns, author of "Auld Lang Syne," famously observed, "The best laid plans o' mice and men [often go astray]."
"The cycle is deprive yourself, and then binge and make up for it," says Elizabeth Zelvin, LCSW, an online therapist who helps people with eating disorders.
"New Years after New Years, millions of Americans make a resolution to go on a diet, and a diet is a way of eating that feels so depriving that you can hardly wait to get to the end of it so you can go back to doing what you did before," she tells WebMD.
Some resolution-makers last a week keeping their New Year's resolutions, and some stick it out all the way to Feb. 1, but very few manage to achieve their goal weight, Zelvin says.
As a therapist, Zelvin also deals with people who have substance abuse problems, and she says that the principles of 12-step programs are practical and effective guides to living, especially with their emphasis on setting attainable goals.
"'One day at a time' is the antithesis of making New Year's resolutions," she says. "It's not saying, 'I'm going to do this and keep it up all year,' it's saying, 'What can I do today?'"
The Hardest Thing You Ever Do?
Darin P. St. George, a personal trainer who works under the pseudonym Trainer X at Gold's Gym in Natick, Mass., suggests that New Year's resolutions are as fleeting as the rose petals littering the streets of Pasadena after the Rose Bowl parade has gone by.
When Johnny and Janey schlep into his gym on Jan. 2, resolved to turn their lives around with a new exercise regimen, their first training session involves a reality check to the gut, he tells WebMD.
"I tell people straight up: I'm not in this business to lie to you," St. George says. "This is going to be the hardest thing you ever do: you are turning back the hands of time. There are lot of machines in this gym, but there are no time machines."
It's OK to make New Year's resolutions, but only if you see them not as unbreakable promises to yourself, but as positive statements about possibilities, says Jason Elias, PhD, a staff psychologist at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Mass.
"What New Year's resolutions tend to be is a statement of your motivation of your intentions -- like a bit of cheerleading for yourself," he tells WebMD. "But the problem with that is that sometimes people set their goals too high, such as 'getting my life back on track,' and those things are way too big to keep track of, to know whether or not you're even making progress on them."
Elias says what can be helpful for keeping New Year's resolutions is public accountability: Make a resolution and share it with others.
"When people make a resolution and say to family and friends 'I'm going to lose weight,' that sort of 'outs' them and helps them stick to a plan," Elias says. "But if they don't have a plan, they aren't going to get very far, So the resolution should be something like, 'I'm going to wake up at 6 on Monday, put my shoes on, and go to the gym.'"
Accentuate the Positive