I have always known I had bipolar disorder, but was never treated. Last year, in August, I had a drug induced psychosis. I heard music that sounded like it was 50 feet away, but no one was there. I saw tall dark objects that I tried to step over. Then I remembered they were never there before, so I rushed through it without fear. I thought the world should revolve around me. I got put in the Psychiatric Ward. I tried to tell them to quit working on the building because I was trying to sleep. I thought the TV had changed in there, and everything on it was about me. I was very paranoid and told the staff I didn't want the TV talking about me anymore. When I got out, I still ahd the 'all about me' attitude. I got really depressed when people were at work and didn't have time for me. I thought about laying on the highway because I felt so unimportant. It wasn't until September when I went back to the hospital that they diagnosed me with schizoaffective.

So, I guess I fit a lot of this stuff. For the last few years I've been treated for anxiety, but nothing had worked. Now I'm getting worse and starting to notice what's going on. I see things from the corner of my eyes; spiders crawling on me, people standing in the shadows. I also am pretty sure I hear another me inside my head. She tries to take over so she can hurt me and other people. I have a hard time taking care of myself. I'll go for over a week without a bath and won't eat until it hurts. I don't know why. Um. Lots of other stuff too, likes jumbled thoughts. I get Mania too where I do art and jump around, then I'm all sad and tired and don't feel like doing anything. I also hate to go outside my home alone because it really feels like all the people are watching me. I'll be going for an assessment soon with a psychologist.

My symptoms included all 5 of the senses being affected. As well I had the mania and depression and still at times even on meds I relapse into depression. I thought my altered, tormenting reality was real and finally the right doctors and right medication helped me find my way out of a very tormenting reality. It took almost 4 years for me to get the right help. I honestly believed it was all really happening so I didn't think I had a mental illness. I'm so glad to have the right medications and such a great care team.

My daughter was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder at 4 years old. She is now 5 and has been hospitalized two times since July. My daughter was on clonidine 0.2 mg to help her sleep and they have now given her Seroquel 25 mg since they saw that Risperdal didn't help and she was having many side effects to it. She still has many issues seeing things and has been hard to work with this as her mom and her being so young. They say she is one of the youngest to get diagnosed with it.

I suffer from schizoaffective disorder/bi-polar type. I suffer fear that people and the law are always after me, or watching me! I hear voices. I hallucinate and see shadow people. The radio talks to me too! I go into mania mode, I have tons of energy then, but still delusional.

I have "talked to myself", since I was 14. No one else ever was willing to listen. I think it's my "twin", even though no one else can see here. I also have had unreasonable faith in the opposite gender. With one, I kept believing he'd change his mind and love me if I just didn't give up. I paid some of his restitution, put $ on his books when he was in county jail, continued a sexual relationship, moved him in as a condition of his monitored release, and participated in his drug rehab program, twice. He did keep telling me that he didn't love me and wouldn't. I just could NOT believe it or let go. He was 17 years my junior. I was in my 40's.