Grief: Loss of a Loved One
Medical Author: Roxanne Dryden-Edwards, MD
Medical Editor: Melissa Conrad Stöppler, MD
What is grief?
Grief is the normal, internal feeling one experiences in reaction to a loss,
while bereavement is the state of having experienced that loss. Although people
often suffer emotional pain in response to loss of anything that is very
important to them (for example, a job, a friendship, one's sense of safety, a home),
grief usually refers to the loss of a loved one through death. Grief is quite
common, in that three out of four women outlive their spouse, with the average
age of becoming a widow being 56 years. More than half of women in the United
States are widowed by the time they reach age 65. Every year in the United
States, 4% of children under the age of 15 experience the death of a parent.
Although not a formal medical diagnosis, complicated grief refers to a
reaction to loss that lasts more than one year. It is characterized by the grief
reaction intensifying to affect all of the sufferer's close relationships,
disrupting his or her beliefs, and it tends to result in the bereaved
experiencing meaningless and ongoing longing for their deceased loved one. About
15% of bereaved individuals will suffer from complicated grief, and one-third of people already getting mental-health
services have been found to suffer from this extended grief reaction.
What is mourning?
As opposed to grief, which refers to how someone may feel the loss of a loved
one, mourning is the outward expression of that loss. Mourning usually involves
culturally determined rituals that help the bereaved individuals make sense of
the end of their loved one's life and give structure to what can feel like a
very confusing time. Therefore, while the internal pain of grief is a more
universal phenomenon, how people mourn is influenced by their personal,
familial, cultural, and societal beliefs and customs. Everything from how
families prepare themselves and their loved ones for death, and understand and react
to the passing to the practices for preserving memories of the deceased,
their funeral or memorial, burial, cremation or other ways of handling the
remains of the deceased is influenced by internal and external factors. The
length of time for a formal mourning period and sometimes the amount of
bereavement leave people are allowed to take from work is determined by a
combination of personal, familial, cultural, and societal factors. Mourning customs also affect how bereaved individuals may
feel comfortable gaining support as well as the appropriate ways for their
friends and family to express sympathy during this time. For example, cultures
may differ greatly in how much or how little the aggrieved individual may talk
about their loss with friends, family members, and coworkers and may determine
whether or not participating in a bereavement support group or psychotherapy is
acceptable.
Next: What are the effects of losing a loved one? »
- Autopsy - Read about autospy and the situations in which one is mandatory or may be ordered upon death. Results of an autospy may be fairly quick, but if toxicology reports are necessary it may take weeks for the results.
- Anxiety - Read about anxiety (generalized anxiety disorder, GAD) causes, physical symptoms and signs, medications and treatment. Learn about symptoms (worry, fear) and other types of anxiety disorders.
- Posttraumatic Stress Disorder - Read about posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms (nightmares, flashbacks), causes (war, traumatic events), effects (depression, suicide) and treatment (medication, therapy).
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