Patient Comments: Bulimia - Describe Your Experience

Please describe your experience with bulimia.

Comment from: Scared No More, 25-34 Male (Patient) Published: April 21

I have been struggling with bulimia for 6 years, ashamed and afraid that I am going to die. I struggle everyday with my bad choices, choices I feel I have some control over and no control over. I have never told anyone because I am a male who has rarely shown any weakness in my life. I am not certain about exactly when it started but I know it started as a way to control my weight, but now it feels like it"s just what I end up doing. I was a state ranked athlete in several sports who now looks nothing like what I once was. I hate myself every day for purging yet I tell myself I am strong enough to not do it again and sometimes I make it a few days but then fall victim to my own self. Fact is this is the first time I have even put this out for anyone to know about yet it is on an anonymous message board because of my shame. The ironic part is I am a successful person who makes in excess of 500 K a year and I am only 32 years old. I say that not to make myself feel good but because bulimia can affect anyone. I need help as I know now I cannot do this alone, thus I am going to seek help tomorrow as I want to live my life again. I always tell myself that I can beat this and live a life again and anyone who reads this deserves the same. I care how I look, but I only care about the look of my smile as I once again live the life I had before bulimia, and that is all that matters in life not how my body looks. A healthy smile and a healthy life is all I need.

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Comment from: Tink, 35-44 Female (Patient) Published: November 25

I am 38 years old and I've been bulimic over 15 years. I was 185lbs at 14 years old, as a freshman in high school. I started out probably like everyone else, looking at this as a "temporary" way to eat what I want and control my weight. I started exercising excessively, and bingeing and purging. I then switched to starvation for about 8 months in my mid to late 20s. I started an extensive outpatient program about 8 to 9 years ago but was not ready or in the right frame of mind. I have been at my current job for 7 years hiding my disorder but not anymore. I have lack of energy, have needed to go home early and was calling in sick the past few months. My boss has been great and said they're here for me and will work with me with doctor's appointments. I have finally stepped up to the plate. My body has shut down, I know I'm going to die if I don't stop. I went back to the clinic and cried when they told me at this point I need to check into a particular hospital the next state over for two weeks with intensive monitoring. I submitted the intake form this morning, made the phone call. This is the worst possible thing anyone could imagine going through. I'm 5'6" and weigh 111lbs now, I can't function, I have put myself in major financial strain because I can literally spend over $500 a week on food, for "just myself!" I live alone so I'm out of control. I am going to be checking into the hospital shortly; you have no idea how this has destroyed my whole life!

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Comment from: Felice, 19-24 Female (Patient) Published: November 01

I'm 22 years old and have been having this eating disorder since two years ago. For the first time I dieted with acupuncture therapy and dropped 8 kilograms (127lbs to 110lbs) just in 2 weeks! Day by day I'm so obsessed and always go on the scales to control my weight, I also drink a laxative tea; till one day I felt full and vomited. I'm satisfied to throw up the food without getting it digested. And now my weight is 43 kilograms (94lbs) and I still feel fat. I'm still taking my laxative tea, doing sports (gymnastics) excessively and vomiting after eating. My boyfriend knows that I am bulimic. He keeps demanding me to get away from bulimia, and I want to. But on the other hand I do not want to gain up on my weight.

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Comment from: Purger, 19-24 Female (Patient) Published: October 15

I started binging and throwing up as a freshman in high-school. At first it seemed like a way I would be able to enjoy foods and not have to gain weight from it. This led to binging. I did this on and off for years until I was 21. There would be really bad episodes that made me feel sick. I'd take laxatives to get the rest out. Then I'd fast to cleanse my stomach out and then I'd feel okay; until it all started over again. I have never gone to the doctor for any of this. I am going to once I can afford to and have health insurance. One problem though is that I think I have acid reflux now. It seems to take longer for me to digest my food. Also, I have been trying to get pregnant literally for 3 years now and no luck!

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Comment from: Mary, 45-54 Female (Caregiver) Published: October 08

My experience of bulimia is that of a mother who found out about her own daughter through her friend. It was the most crushing news I've ever received in my life. The death of my parents and three siblings did not hit me as hard as this did. I blame myself because I have been weight obsessed all of my life and through research discovered that I probably suffered the non-purging type of bulimia myself. I obsessed about weight, bragged about my successes, boasted about the attention I was getting, etc. I glorified the use of alcohol, made every excuse under the sun for my behaviors, and all the while, not once did I ever think my daughters might copy my behavior. They were always so concerned for my health and well-being and continually asked me to seek help. You will never know how much my heart hurts knowing that I may be the cause of this for my beautiful 26-year-old daughter, who also has a daughter. This has to end now with help from a professional for both of us.

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Bulimia - Describe Your Experience Question: Please describe your experience with bulimia.
Bulimia - Treatment Question: What kinds of treatment have you or a relative received for bulimia?
Bulimia - Complications Question: What complications did you or someone you know experience because of bulimia?
Bulimia - Symptoms Question: Did your child, friend, or relative have bulimia? What were the signs that indicated something was wrong?

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