Patient Comments: Borderline Personality Disorder - Symptoms

What symptoms did you experience with borderline personality disorder?

Comment from: lost to bpd, 35-44 Female (Patient) Published: January 23

I learned a year ago I have BPD (borderline personality disorder). It's hard to live with. I have been working with a doctor and counselor since then but it's hard to maintain a relationship with them. I drink and know I shouldn't. I feel alone at times and as though my husband doesn't understand me. My life is an emotional roller coaster I feel as though I have no control. I lose my temper often. I feel like there is no hope for me, my mental illness is taking control of me. I ask myself each day what it may bring. I have thoughts of suicide often that my family would be better off without me. One thing stops me, my son who is 17.

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Comment from: scared, 19-24 Female (Patient) Published: April 04

I learned a few weeks ago that I have BPD. Since then I've been struggling with the reality of my condition, especially after reading that the treatment can be minimal. I still have hope that I can be a normal, functioning human being one day. As of right now, I suffer from severe depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and most recently BPD. I am a mother and a fiancé, and I feel that my family is being greatly affected by my condition. I self-mutilate to the point where I'm afraid to go outside. I'm terrified of being alone. Anything can be a trigger, and I can get extremely aggressive. I'm afraid that I might lose my family. My last hope is to see a psychiatrist in hopes that I can go further than just medication with my treatment.

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Comment from: natalie, 19-24 Female (Patient) Published: August 24

I've just been told I have BPD. I have mood swings that are out of my control and it's almost like another person takes over and you don't care what the side affect will be , I almost turned my whole family against me with the lying and steeling off them but my mum took me to a doctor along with all the other symptoms I had. I was sent to a CPN which has now just diagnosed me and I am just about to discuss treatment. You're not alone and I know how you feel when you are down the best thing you can do is when you hit that low bit is to spend time with someone. I did and now I feel like I'm normal again. I know the problem is still there but it helps me between my meetings. I also just stay off the alcohol that's a depressant itself not good!! Hope your bpd turns out okay, and remember you're not a nut case your special!!!

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Comment from: hsurp1, 35-44 Female (Patient) Published: August 11

My experience was the self-mutilation and not feeling that I was good enough for anyone. But when I self-mutilated, I was angry at my boyfriend (2 different ones) at the time. I felt like I was not being listened to and thought that cutting myself would get their attention. It sure did! Cut myself two times the first serious time and cut myself very badly the second serious time and ended up in the Mental Ward at the local hospital. But then again, I get angry when I get past hypomania from my Bipolar. Hypomania is the BEST feeling!!! But full blown Mania causes me anxiety and anger. Like I have to yell at someone or hit something. I mostly get depression though.

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Comment from: desirejay, 19-24 Female (Caregiver) Published: May 20

My sister was diagnosed with this disorder several years ago. Every single symptom fits her to a T. Unfortunately, mental illness runs in our family, as our mother suffers from schizoaffective disorder and avoided medication for our entire lives. My sister is amazing and has really worked on many of her most demanding symptoms (self-mutilation, eating disorders, anger) with a professional. She has more confidence and has been able to maintain healthier relationships with people. I help when I can, but the most I can do is listen when she needs me.

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Comment from: Living_in_hell, 35-44 Female (Patient) Published: January 08

I've had this illness for at least 20 years. I feel that there are not enough resources in Canada for patients that are borderline. Every day I wish I could just die because of the suffering. I feel that this illness is not taken as seriously as others such as depression or bipolar. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be so negative. I'm just so tired of feeling so awful all the time. I constantly feel like everyone hates me and that they all want to hurt me. My emotions are up and down all day. But when I get depressed, it can last for days. I tend to pull away from people and stay alone. I always think the worst. I look in the mirror and see an ugly woman all the time. I feel that I am not capable of ever being happy. I wish I could just die all the time.

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Borderline Personality Disorder - Experience Question: Do you or a relative have borderline personality disorder? Please share your experience.
Borderline Personality Disorder - Treatment Question: What types of treatment, including medication, have you received for borderline personality disorder?

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